Avoid Making These Relationship Assumptions About Your Partner. Try thinking about the assumptions that were made. When You Make Assumptions In Relationships, You Miss Out On Getting Your Needs Met By Your Partner Posted on January 14, 2020 - By MadameNoire MadameNoire Featured Video By Cedric Benson. In cross cultural relationships it’s common to defend your own culture and to make assumptions about your partner’s culture. Do not make assumptions. You need to be 100% sure the assumption you came up with has to be true. People defend their own culture because it’s a part of themselves. Then, if their partner doesn’t meet those needs, they assume their spouse doesn’t care. Ask your partner questions, rather than making assumptions. It so closely resembles the emotional and physical survival skill we call intuition. 3. Your rating: None. If your partner is behaving or speaking in a way that bothers or confuses you, do not leap to a conclusion about what their actions mean. Catch yourself making assumptions in the moment instead of too late. We assume that a person has a specific motivation for their actions or that an event took place for a specific reason. Ask questions instead. When Your Partner Hurts You, You End Up Apologizing Repeatedly gaslighted into believing my feelings were wrong, I grew remorseful for feeling them. Assumptions such as Alison’s take place all the time. Question the assumption. Even when you didn’t intend to cause any harm, it’s important to acknowledge that he or she may have been affected by … Sometimes the assumptions are right. Making False Assumptions about Your Partner’s Intentions. I know it’s human nature to make some assumptions. 2. Making assumptions explicit doesn’t mean using them as weapons (“I assume you never cared about X”). People also make assumptions about their spouse’s feelings. Your partner’s culture is different from yours and that can be scary. Show Your Cards. Tweet. Then we start to see these incorrect assumptions as the truth. Instead, ask them—directly but politely—about whatever is concerning you. See all Articles by Chris Hartwell Get Updates on Marriage Coaching Get Updates on Chris Hartwell. Are there any other reasons why Amy might be acting this way? And a dangerous one. Making assumptions is a bad habit. People often think their partner should just know what they mean and should understand their needs. In a healthy relationship, your partner hears you out if you’re upset, and their goal is to avoid upsetting you in the future, not to debate whether you should have been upset in the first place. In making your point during an argument, you may inadvertently say something that hurts or otherwise invalidates your partner’s feelings. It would be unfair to say all assumptions are wrong, because we know from experience that’s just not the case. Assume nothing. Deal with the struggle if the assumption was right. It means using them to make sure the other person can understand where you’re coming from (“I’m concerned that you might not have known about my view of X”). If you feel like you've gotten complacent, make more of an effort to be physical with your partner. Average: 0. For your health and well-being, and that of those around you. People tend to assume they know what the underlying meaning of someone else’s behaviors are. The problem with making these types of assumptions, and we all do it, myself included, is that more often than not, we’re wrong.